CANCER AND FINDING MY SPARK AGAIN
Getting told I had cancer was, for some reason, not a huge shock. Well before I went to the doctor to get a check-up for a lump I felt in my testicle I knew it was something bad. Even when the doctor said otherwise (he told me I didn’t need a scan and all felt normal), I persisted and wanted an ultrasound to follow this up further. I knew something wasn’t right in my body. I didn’t feel unwell, weak or even sore, but it was a feeling hard to describe. Apart from a small lump which could only be felt in certain positions, the feeling I had was more mental than anything. It was a feeling in the back of my mind of a dull ache or something numb floating in my body. I still can’t to this day fully describe the feeling and some people think I’m crazy when I try to explain it- you may be thinking the same thing now while reading this?!
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
A few months after my 22nd birthday, I had an operation to remove a testicle and a round of chemotherapy treatment, 5-6 hours sitting in a chair with an IV drip in my arm watching this liquid seep into my veins. It sunk in more at that moment. How the hell am I having chemo! It wasn’t so much the physical issues but more so the mental side of things. Testicular cancer is one of the most common cancers in young men. It has a very high survival rate if detected early and confined (as mine was) which gave me a lot of confidence that everything would be ok in that sense. However, I still asked the question as to why me? Had I done something wrong to deserve it? Will I ever be able to have children? (I had to freeze sperm prior to the chemo and already had a very low sperm count) I also did some research and found that Denmark had the highest rate of testicular cancer in the world (I lived there for the better part of 4 years prior to turning 21). Although I don’t think it’s been determined why Denmark has that title, it’s a strange coincidence.
FINDING MY SPARK AGAIN
My career as a professional athlete was on hold, soon to be dead due to the huge loss in motivation I found myself with. I had no interest or desire to travel and compete, living out of a suitcase year round. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do. I did know it should be within health and fitness – it was my passion and my life. I was just stuck in what was easy at the time and content with what I had. I was working full time in the family business, involved in the building industry – something that definitely didn’t excite me. It took me years to finally snap out of simply living and being content. I wanted to realise my full potential and help people improve their lives! I knew I had a lot to offer others with the experiences I had been through and the knowledge I had gained in all this time.
I kept my fitness levels at a decent standard, working out at the gym mainly, but the spark I had for exercise wasn’t there anymore. Going to the gym became boring, injuries happened a lot and the passion to improve wasn’t there. I forced myself to go for the sake of it and to some degree I burnt myself out more.
THE SPARK
The spark to re-invent myself, or follow my passion came when I found my driving motivator again. I think without an internal driving factor, we as people are all simply coasting through life and content. What drives you? We all have external drivers, the fear of what others will think, the fear of losing our jobs or not having the nicest clothes, but without the internal – something we do for ourselves – nothing else will flow. My driving factor was my passion for body weight training, the desire to free myself up from the gym, change my routine and allow myself more time to be with my new family. The will to transform my body and get into the shape I had always dreamed of became my pull or force to get up early and go to bed late. I found a spark inside I hadn’t had since I was 18. I could train for hours and never get bored. I constantly thought about getting outdoors and doing my workouts – and still do. It has changed my life – something I am so passionate about and want to help others see the life changing results body weight training can give you. It has allowed me to spend more time at home with my family. It’s allowed me to remain injury free and it’s allowed me to transform my body into something I had never previously achieved, all with the freedom to workout anywhere!
